In working with hundreds of leaders during my 22+ years, from ground floor supervisors through chief executive officers, I have concluded many times over, that depriving leaders of access to frequent feedback is akin to dropping their healthcare coverage.
Why such a strong sentiment? Because we have no idea what others believe about how we do our work, how we interact, why and to whom we pay attention etc. and what conclusions they have drawn about us—which they firmly believe are accurate. What can be done about this? First, unless we ask for feedback, it will not happen. But even more importantly, the means in which they can respond with feedback must be 100% safe — their responses must be not traceable, they must be anonymous.
If we could have the chance to explain our competing priorities and deadlines, and that we have a lot of stress with continually making trade-offs, then they might believe different things about us. We could clearly and sincerely explain that they should see us as neutral to positive; that we do not have motives in what they see or who we make time for. We are just trying to get the job done as well as possible. But there is no such forum. And, wouldn’t they sound like excuses anyway? So, day after day, people around us continue to believe their assumptions about what their leader or their manager “means” by doing small every-day things.
Is the eight year old in us all responding, “What?” “This is not fair!” Next might come the thought that their inaccurate beliefs about us are their problem; we do not have intentions to ignore them or avoid interactions with them. But doesn’t this perpetuate the cycle?
This brings you to why I conclude the lack of asking for, and receiving honest, constructive feedback is as dire as losing your healthcare coverage? But if you are still not moved to see the flashing yellow lights, ponder such mysteries as:
- Why don’t more people give me credit for my really well crafted emails?
- Why don’t people drop in to pitch ideas about an exciting idea they have for doing things better, more innovatively, or to yield better results?
- Why don’t people come to me with an early warning sign they notice that needs attention immediately to nip a possible problem in the bud?
In case you are warming up to the idea that not getting honest feedback, rather often, is a problem to be reversed, then consider the details to be managed in setting up a safe and frequent means for people to give you feedback.
- The ‘system’ must at all costs safeguard the ones who share their thoughts with you.
- Under no circumstances should a receiver of feedback react in an “unpleasant” way, let alone, argue, deny or search for the source.
- The fact of the matter is that the more inaccurate you feel the statements are, the more emotional maturity you must exercise and instead react with, “I have to learn more about this” (after your adrenalin recedes). Seriously, statements that you believe are wrong— are not to be disputed. They are to be mined for what am I doing to give this impression and how can I (or Can I?) neutralize and improve the situation?
- Keep in mind that no one comes automatically equipped with the craft of tactfully stating what they would like you to do differently. The first thrust is to just blurt out what we feel that is ‘not right’. If something is really flat out wrong, your mission is to double-down and sleuth out what gives them such an idea, not refute it.
The unwritten, or micro print in the promotion offer, when you became responsible for others, is that their perceptions of you do matter and you do have the responsibility to keep their beliefs about you positive.
When we drive or play a game we know how important it is to keep an eye on the dashboard or scoreboard. But at work we settle for the ‘white noise’ as if it is better.
But, one last thing. There is a scenario I witnessed many years ago and it still astonishes me today, having not seen such an event since. One very highly ranking executive asked for a formal 360 feedback process. We used the Korn Ferry VOICES tool, as was the custom internally, and people who were invited to complete the survey, knew about the encrypted safety and anonymity they would have. “Mark” invited each person in a face-to-face meeting, ensuring they knew that he wanted to know the tough stuff, not compliments. After he received his confidential feedback session, he promptly attached a note to the report (which, understand is never shared with anyone but the “learner”) that said:
“Thank you all for the comments you took the time to include for me. But I want you to see what everyone else said and ADD more comments, based on them, so that I will really have useful ideas about how to improve. Once this is returned to me, and I hope it is full of printed statements, I will ask for us all to get together, you everyone knows what the final recommendations are. Don’t let me down”
He did receive the report back, laden with hand written notes. Some were signed. True to his word, he held the meeting, summarized the themes, pledged changes & asked for them to speak up if he faltered. And, he also asked, “Can we keep up this up so I don’t have to use another formal process?”
I have not seen another person demonstrate such courage since.
